Last week was Exotic Week at Lotus Fitness Studio. Our instructors arranged great, sexy choreo for pole, lyra, and silks, and our students had a blast slinking and heel clacking through the week. We love to embrace and showcase all sides of aerial, from gymnastics-like tricks to booty bouncing twerk, but there is something special about the sexy side of aerial fitness. However, many people outside the aerial community attach a stigma to this type of movement, and it can even raise conflicting opinions between aerialists.
Pole dance is the most obvious case of the sexiness controversy in aerial fitness. Classique, exotic, stripper style: there are all different terms for sexy dance, and they can be used pretty interchangeably in the pole world. While some moves and tricks may originate from Chinese or Indian pole, or from a cirque-type background, it’s hard to ignore that pole fitness has strong roots in the classique or stripper-type style. And as Natasha Wang said in her interview with the LFS blog (https://lotusfitnessstudio.com/interview-with-natasha-wang/), while pole certainly departs from classique, it always seems to gravitate back that direction eventually. Body waves, drop splits, hair whips, wavy legs, and so many other moves started with exotic.
Sexy, sensual dance sometimes intimidates newcomers. I have heard so many people tell me they wouldn’t want to try pole or aerial because it is “too sexy.” While this is not always the case (check out this previous post: https://lotusfitnessstudio.com/first-class-jitters/), and there are a ton of lyrical, accro, and circus movement styles to choose from other than exotic, it makes me wonder: why is sexy dancing so scary for so many people?
To be honest, I was totally one of those people for the longest time. When I started pole, I pretty much refused to do any body tracing, my body waves looked like a block of wood, and I felt ridiculous and uncomfortable with any slithery or slinky movements. It took over a year for me to feel confident and comfortable enough in my own skin that I started to embrace sex in my dance. And now I have a terrible reputation for floor humping in classes. I think a lot of what can hold us back in the beginning is the cacophony of voices in our heads telling us it’s not okay to be sexy in public, or that we’re not thin/hot/pretty enough for that, or that we will look silly. What all of this comes down to is that revealing any part of our sexy side requires a certain vulnerability. What if I try to look sexy and people laugh at me or reject my attempt? Once you can learn to flirt with yourself in the mirror and ignore everyone else in the room, you realize that throwing that sexy vibe out there makes it amplify. The sexier you can see yourself being, the sexier you will feel and become. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle.
For many pole dancers, the stigma associated with pole is a serious issue. I have friends who are completely in the closet about pole, and even one of the biggest name pole stars in the world has said that she does not like to tell people she’s a pole dancer, because she hates having to defend and explain it to people. There is a world of political and social judgement and confusion here: how our society views and treats strippers; whether we should strive to separate pole fitness from the strip club it came from, or whether that is disrespectful and disingenuous; how society views female sexuality; and the list goes on and on and on. Regardless, the occasionally offensive reactions we may get from outsiders when we talk about pole may make us hesitant to embrace sensual dance. To that, I say one thing: their opinion doesn’t count! This is one hundred percent a “you do you” situation. If you are feeling it, let yourself get sexy! Feel those body waves! And we will always love you for it.
For some of us, sexy is just not our thing. That is totally fine, too! The beautiful thing about pole dance is that, even though much of its foundation is based on exotic styles, it has branched out into so much more than only being sexy. Many times, when I show people videos of lyra, silks, and pole dance superstars, I get the same surprised reaction: “Oh, it’s like Cirque du Soleil stuff!” It definitely can be. Pole and aerial lend themselves to acrobatic amazement, as well as heartfelt, emotional performances. However, even if you have to be completely alone in the dark, there can be so much benefit to using movement to explore and express your sexy side. To our students who joined us in exploring exotic last week, we thank you. See you in the air!
Kat making handstands look sexy!
Dawn’s splits are on point!
Studio owner Cari shows us how lyra can be sexy, too!
Instructor Dawn rocking those lines!